Being someone who puts out content on the internet semi-casually, I think I come across as a confident person? But, as you can see from me just questioning that assumption at all! I am not as confident as I can look. There’s highs and lows that life throws at us that waiver our confidence. Other people can cause us to be more or less confident. Hell! Society in all its insane standards for beauty (that are typically used just to sell us things!) is constantly telling us we aren’t good enough. Yet we are? The body positivity movement is one I’ve been watching grow and change since the tumblr days. Body positivity has grown into an all out brawl at times between body types. I’m happy to see it’s slowly turning into body neutrality. We just have bodies okay!? They’re all different and fictional. Clearly my confidence mostly lacks in the area of my relationship with my body. I’ve been talking about confidence only in terms of looks! Confidence, and possible lack of it, can show up in all different parts of our lives. So let’s talk about it!!
So I brought up how events in our lives can waiver our confidence. Maybe a change in careers, dating after a recent break up, learning a new skill, going to a new area, working on communication skills, and just a hell of a ton of stuff!! It’s insane. Since having some health scares this year I’ve been lacking confidence in all parts of my life. Just being shaken up can make you lose a grip on who you are! And therefore what you think you’re good at. I grew up with very low self esteem, and very low confidence in almost every aspect of my life. The thing was, this all showed up the second I would walk out of the house. When it would just be me in my room, man. I thought I could do anything! What changes? Well that’s the thing, what others will think will cause that doubt. But what if you could turn that off? Wondering what others would think? Would the confidence suddenly flow? I think it’s different for everyone. I started reading “The Confidence Gap” by Russ Harris and it’s really made me realize just how many parts of our lives is influenced by our own confidence. (Basically all of it!!) and he has a whole second on things to ask yourself. Here’s a few that stood out to me.
This ally lacked the confidence to become a better makeup artist. I would feel amazing in the moment, snap a picture, and then immediately second guess my capability in makeup. This would lead to spiraling and lack of feeling like i’d ever grow in that skill.
In a world where you had more confidence:
how would you behave differently?
How would you walk and talk differently?
How would you talk to yourself?
How would you treat your body?
What would you stop doing?
There’s a ton more! There’s so much interactive confidence work in this book. This really points out, wow! If I had more confidence how would change these aspects of how I function?? Would I be totally different? Or just be same old me? I’m currently working on a little self help notebook and throwing stuff from all over in there, including some of these! So, here’s some of my answers:
How would you treat your body?
I would appreciate the fact that I’ve still got it! That I get up in the morning! I would focus less on the parts I didn’t like, realize all our bodies look differently. Age differently! We aren’t meant to look the same forever! I would also just dress my body however the fuck I wanted. Clothing is universal, fashion isn’t just for smaller bodies. I’m fine with that 🙏🏻
This ally lacked confidence in her style. Although I was starting to get dressed up more, I was always making sure to hide the parts I didn’t like.
What sorts of things/hobbies would you start doing?
I would confidently put out more content! I’d work on longer content platforms. Possibly make YouTube videos, actual tutorials, and explore avenues that are completely different. I wouldn’t get discouraged when numbers are low. And I’d just enjoy the process of making the content instead of waiting to see how it’s performing.
What would you stop doing?
I’d stop doubting myself when getting into new projects. I’d also stop getting into new projects all the time! I’d follow through the ones I started, learn from my mistakes and realize we aren’t all perfect at something. Especially right away! I’d also stop avoiding getting to know people. I’d reach out to those I’ve lost touch with. Avoidance of communication, I’d just throw that out the window. Confidently approach people.
Confidence is all over ours lives, and it’s also a life long practice. Sometimes the most confident seeming people are shaking in their boots as much as you. Stop wondering what others will think and just do the damn thing!! People will be more wowed by the confidence they wish they had than the outcome of whatever you’re working on. And at the end of the day you’re working on it FOR YOU. I write all this for myself as much as anyone else.
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