Let’s talk seriously with one another for a moment. Are you holding onto something? Something that you need to get off your chest? Something that doesn’t serve you in any positive way? Something that you just can’t get past? Is this something causing you internal self guilt? In my conversations both online and with peers I can’t believe how many of us have our own feelings of guilt we’re constantly carrying around. It can be as small as not playing with your animal one night after a long day at work to something as big as setting a boundary for your wedding. We are all holding onto more self inflicted guilt than we realize, and you know what? I’m sick of mine. Last year I came to this really amazing balance with my mental health and medications. I had clarity! I had motivation! I had this excited outlook for my day to day life. Then at the end of last year up until next week I had a lot of physical health issues that kept me from being able to take this amazing combo of medication that really regulated me. I became lethargic again, the weight of all my thoughts constantly running along side the now physical issues I was dealing with. Let me tell you. I was running on empty. I didn’t work on anything for months, I barely reached out to my loved ones, I couldn’t stand leaving the house, all my bad habits seemed to be amped up to 100. The biggest thing I had going on? Guilt. This giant feeling of guilt just sitting on my chest for not just working through these serious issues I had going on. Where does this guilt come from?! I’m not well, I’m not working at my maximum capacity! I’m barely getting to half of the motivation and physical strength I usually have. Rest is best right now! So why the guilt?!
Sometimes we feel guilt when we don’t give those who depend on us the attention they need. Sometimes we need to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others.
Other times we can feel guilt when taking time for ourselves. Enjoying a night out when we need to be saving money. Taking time at home alone when friends have called us out. Time for us can look different.
I spoke a bit about this on my Instagram the other week and so many people said that they had been feeling similarly in their own ways. I’ve had this conversation with so many people as well. This is an epidemic. A guilt epidemic! The world right now literally feels like it’s up in flames every time I check my social media. I see 2-5 new stories a day that fill me with dread and remorse for the world that I live in. Then the guilt comes in. What more can i do? What more could be done in my community? What difference can I make? But do I have the time, resources and energy? I’ve got XY and Z going on, how can I possibly think of taking on more right now? And that’s just outside guilt that just stacks on top of the things that you have going on in your inner circle. I spoke about weddings earlier and I’m sorry. It comes with guilt! Making cuts to a guest list, scraping a style of hair or makeup in order to please a family member, having to tell someone that they can’t wear something. There’s a million things that are going on in the wedding planning process, and sometimes you’ve got to put your foot down. You’ve got to take care of you. All eyes are going to be on you, you’re celebrating a love that’s so exciting you want to throw a big parry of joy! You need to do what’s going to sit best with you at the end of the day. And this just applies to so many things in our lives!!
There’s been times in my life where things have been hard, I mean ridiculously hard. Times where I didn’t know if I would make it. If I’d ever come back from this. Those times have taught me that you’ve got to focus on you. Drop the guilt, let it go as much as you can and just do what is going to help you heal. Help you make the decision. Help you live with yourself. I recently had a major health scare and it just put so much into perspective for me. I need to take care of myself in the ways that work best for me. Today I set up my sewing machine and sewed for the first time in 5 months, and wow. Can I tell you that the breath of fresh air I felt? Finally feeling like myself again. Like so many others I have an issue with the doom scrolling, and I’m sorry! The way we receive world information now is so insane and random. It can be such a hard hit to your relaxation time. Cat video, styling video, bridal video, craft video and BAM, disaster. Social injustice. Triggering issues that set you back. It can be so much. Sometimes what we need is to step away. Put our phone down for an hour and get into a process that feels healing to us. It can be sewing, crafting, going to the thrift store, online shopping, cooking, calling a loved on, or just sitting down to watch a comfort show again. Be in tune with yourself and know when to step away. And don’t let the guilt consume you. Be nicer to yourself. When someone comes to you sharing their guilt do you say “oh I totally get it, you should feel guilty!” No! You tell them to be nicer to themselves and drop that toxic mindset. Please take the time you need for YOU this year. For whatever. It’s so much easier said than done, but it can be the biggest difference. 5 minutes to 5 weeks? Healing and time for yourself is on a different schedule for everyone, and life can be challenging when it comes time for it. If the time for yourself doesn’t come right away DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR WHEN IT DOES. Take it and run with it. Enjoy and love the time you have with you as much as you can.
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