New year, new me, new age! That’s right. I am a Capricorn that is so closely birthed near the new year that it’s insane!! My birthday was on the third! I figured I’d tell y’all about how I treated myself and then also talk about some reflections of the 32 years behind me, and some hopes for my 33rd year ahead of me. 

I can’t say I’m a huge birthday person. I enjoy the acknowledgement, like to celebrate myself, but it’s not a big to do. Back when I was a party girl I would just lump my party into new years (great way to get people to buy your drinks!) but now that I’m slowing down I decided to study from a master. This year for my birthday I met a sloth! Yes, I met a sloth 😭 I went to the National Aviary and took part in their sloth painting encounter! I met Valentino the sloth, fed him some yummy zucchini and he painted me a beautiful photo. It really was so different than any other birthday I’ve ever spent and I loved it! I really wanted to do something this year that would be different, memorable, and wouldn’t leave me curled around a toilet bowl the next day. I guess that’s growing up right? Trading in the shots for sloths. 

Reflecting on the past years of our lives can be a very mixed experience. Memories hold different emotions, some good, some sad and some just leave ya shaking our heads. Just 10 years ago began the spiral of very tough years ahead of me. I lost my dad suddenly in 2013 and with that my entire life changed. Although I faced years of depression, grief and uncertainty-I really felt like I began to live for myself starting after that. my life entirely changed, as did I. Life is so short and not in our control (even when we think it is). We have to take time for ourselves whenever possible. Be the person we want to be before it’s too late. Leaving 32 I can say when it comes to self reflection and my relationship with myself I’m much happier with the person I am now. I find comfort and love within my own company. I’m much happier with the person I see staring back at me in the mirror and look back at my past inner monologue in remorse. I spend most of my 20’s really beating myself up, my self image and perception in the world. It was tough and often times really help me back. Fighting through that and also slowly just not giving a fuck really made me have to put my foot down. I’m going to start being nicer to myself dammit! I want to continue to do that going into my 33rd year. I need to hold onto that mentality and self love. Even though I have way more of it, I still have the not so nice things to say to myself. 

23 vs 33

I’ve had a lot of beautiful moments in my life so far! So many amazing memories to reflect back on. I also have a lot of loss and grief. Going into my 33rd year I’d like to take care of some old wounds. Continue working on hard times that have come and gone instead of just trying to not think about them. A lot of healing is in front of me for this year of my life, and with that a lot of hardship. That may make me feel weak at times, but ultimately I will be stronger from it.

Being 33 should be interesting! I can’t wait to see what the year ahead holds and what memories will come from it! I know we’ve had two reflection of time and new beginnings blogs back to back (curse that new years birthday!) goth and fashion blogs to resume in the near year 😘

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